Married to a Ghost
by silente64
Summary: AU. When Sam wins a beauty pageant, the last thing she expected was that she'd be wed to a ghost!
1. I Hate Pageants

A/N: Due to a severe overload of story ideas, and the fact that this summary was sitting on my profile for 12 years, (and due to someone's request, you know who you are), enjoy this new story. It's based on "Beauty Marked" except this is an AU and taking place in recent times. I love AUs, don't you?

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Chapter 1: I Hate Pageants

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Sam hated pageants with a passion. Capital P for passion. Not that she was passionate for anything but the gloom of all things gothic, which brought her back to the pageant. Why girls would parade in front of someone to be judged on their looks and shallow desire for "world peace" was a mystery to her. But leave it to Tucker to sign her up. Did he secretly want to see her in a swimsuit?

"But Sam, it'll be fun!" Tucker insisted, his mouth full of nachos and fake cheese. "You can use it as a platform to make a statement to all the shallow people. You do love making a statement."

"True…"

"And hey, in a room of beautiful women you're bound to stand out as an individual."

"Hey!" She punched him in the shoulder.

"I don't mean it _that_ way." Oh yes he did.

Another mystery was why she was best friends with a techno geek when they had little in common. Sure, they bonded over video games and horror movies, and his confidence was definitely one to be admired, but his taste in girls made her squeal in shame. He definitely was unique though; not only did he have five types of smart phones – that he carried with him at all times due to his flannel jacket's inner pockets – but he managed to ask out every girl in school and get rejected, without a hit to his self-esteem. That was amazing.

However, he really knew how to get on her nerves at times, and knew where it hurt. When he made jokes, he made them about everyone. If she were to be honest, she had her flaws as well; she knew she could be wrong, but she hated to admit it, and she knew she could be too outspoken sometimes, if that were such a thing. Well, they both had their flaws, and they both stuck together.

"What was with that woman anyway? Dora Mattingly, that blonde hairdo outdated by at least a decade, that giant emerald ring of hers, and how she was looking for someone average to be the judge. At first she said you were too annoying but then changed her mind. What was up with that?"

"She saw my inner talent of judging the ladies, I'm sure." Tucker wiggled his eyebrows. "Sam, this is the best thing that's happened to me. At long last, I can be popular for at least the rest of this week! My schedule is filled with dates, this is a dream come true." He cried. "I will be boring this week into my memory."

"Have fun with that, Tuck. You ready to watch the movie now? I'm feeling nostalgic for The Ring, the original of course."

"No, not Sadako…okay fine, I can take it!" She was looking forward to his screams, not that it would make up for the torture she'd have to go through this week.

-2-

Ms. Mattingly had made them practice everything, from the walk to the talk and even the makeup. Sam wasn't disappointed that she was failing at the whole princess thing – not that she wanted to be one in the first place – but the woman kept blowing up at her every time. She could have sworn that when she was really angry the day before the pageant, her eyes dilated and her tongue slithered. She tried talking to Tucker about it but he shrugged her off. But what if Ms. Mattingly was a ghost?

"A ghost, really?" Jazz Fenton rolled her eyes at her.

Oh well, it was worth a shot to ask the only child of Amity Park's resident ghost hunters before she had to go on stage. She only knew her because of her interest in all things dealing with death, but was disappointed to find out Jazz was not as enthusiastic about ghosts as she was. In fact, before they started showing up around town, Jazz was a known nonbeliever. Since then, she was known to be a casual ghost hunter until her parents barreled onto the scene with the big guns and a lot of embarrassing comments. Sam was sorry for and jealous of her at the same time.

"Uh yes, who else can slither their tongue like a snake?"

"Are you sure you weren't just demonizing her based on your inner fears of subjecting yourself to societal norms?"

She narrowed her eyes at that. "Are you trying to psych me out? Don't."

"I'm just concerned is all. Nice dress, by the way. Made it yourself?"

If she counted cutting that horrible pink contraption her mother tried forcing on her and dying it with spray paint, sure. "Just a refashion."

"Ah." Jazz looked at her watch. "Now, don't you have to get up there? I hope you win."

"Uh, I don't plan to, thanks. But seriously, just in case she is one, don't you have a weapon or something?"

"I don't think it's a good idea to have that kind of thing out, you might get the whole event shut down due to safety concerns or something. How about if you find proof, just signal Tucker. I'll give him the wrist ray."

"Sure, let's trust Tucker with the wrist ray. Okay, thanks Jazz."

She trudged over to the backstage, where the girls were already lined up. Ms. Mattingly was clearly expecting her, as she grabbed her and installed her in the back of said line.

Dora smiled with the fakest smile she had ever witnessed. "Now, break a leg, ladies!"

"I like all my limbs intact, thank you very much," she said under her breath, only to get glared at.

Mr. Lancer went out on stage in a dumb bard's costume, but his stupid song wasn't half as bad as she expected.

She felt stupid being up there in a dress, but she wanted to run away when it was swimsuit time. She tried putting on her cloak to cover her black one piece but Ms. Mattingly confiscated it before she could make it onstage. The spotlight was not good for her skin and she could feel herself shriveling. She couldn't even bear to look in front of her anymore so she just looked at her feet as she followed the girls ahead. She heard a whistle from somewhere in the crowd; it was probably Jazz trying to show support, but it gave her the creeps. The noise of the crowd became too much for her so she gave up and hid behind Paulina.

"Hey!" Paulina whispered in protest. "Who said you could become my shadow?"

"Get over it." Sam whispered back.

When it came time for the talents, she was regretting ever showing up to practice. She would have escaped if not for the pageant director blocking the way.

"Erm, Ms. Mattingly? I've realized I'm not exactly princess material, so I'd like to withdraw-"

"No one withdraws from _my_ pageant." Her eyes turned red and dilated like a snake's, and her hand turned into claws with blue scales. "That is, if you want to live." She reached out towards her neck with a lustful expression.

"W…what are you?" Sam backed up from her, only to end up under the spotlight.

"So, what's your talent?" Tucker said, innocently smiling from the judge's seat. She eyed the wrist ray on his arm. 'Time for the signal.'

"Um, my talent is… goth haiku! Here it goes." She had gotten pretty good at them from all the times she attended the goth poetry slams on Thursdays. She took a dramatic pose and hoped Tucker would catch on. "Gloom covers the eyes. Finally, revelation! Dora is a ghost!"

Ms. Mattingly dragged her off stage as Tucker's eyes opened wide.

"Let me go-" The woman covered her mouth with a scaly hand.

Mr. Lancer came out and asked Tucker to name the winner, but he was running on stage, calling her name while trying to activate his wrist ray.

"And the winner of the Miss Teenage Happy Princess Beauty Pageant is… Sam Manson? Are you blind, young man?"

Ms. Mattingly smiled, and then dragged her to the awards area, where she shoved a crown on her head. The crowd was applauding, while the other girls swamped Tucker, preventing him from coming closer. She noticed Jazz was trying to push past as well.

"And now for the audience to take a small nap…" Dora took a deep breath and breathed out blue smoke.

The last thing Sam remembered was that woman's claws boring into her shoulder.

-3-

It wasn't necessarily a problem that she woke up in a dank castle in the middle of a dark forest without a ray of sun in sight. No, this would have been, in any other situation, the stuff of her fantasies. The problem was that this stupid woman Dora was now telling her that she had to get married to a ghost. She was only fourteen, and who knew how old Dora's older brother, Aragon, was.

She had tried to jump out of the window, but the stupid thing on her head put up some kind of force field. She was a prisoner. Dora walked in with an army of ladies behind her donned in dresses of muted pink and blue.

As a ghost, Dora was ghastly. She wore the same golden necklace, her skin was tinted a toxic green, and her eyes resembled a serpent's. Her blonde locks were French braided and she wore a typical blue princess gown and circular hat. Her posture was as on point as ever.

Sam was forcefully subjected to having her hair fluffed and styled by a bunch of ghostly ladies-in-waiting at the dresser table.

"You should be happy," Dora said to her in a condescending tone. "Isn't every girl's dream to be a princess?"

"This is so illegal. Can't I have a ghost police officer arrest you people or something?" Once the ladies were finished, she got up from the stool with a huff.

"Not here it isn't," Dora said as she shoved her in a black corset. "This realm is frozen in time, and my brother's word is law."

She looked at her wristwatch; surely enough the arms weren't moving an inch.

"What does your brother want with me anyway? I'm human, and I don't think I fit the description of a typical submissive medieval girl." He obviously had some creepy fetish for the warm-blooded.

"That's exactly why he wants you. No one else has had a human bride before. And you're opinionated, smart, and every bit the modern woman."

The giggling ladies-in-waiting arrived and forced her into a pink dress. 'Why, why, why?!'

"What he wants someone different?" They tried to shove her feet into some glass slippers, which quickly shattered.

Dora let out a chuckle behind her folded hands, every bit the lady. "Pshaw, he wants to crush you." Harsh. Things just got dark fast.

Sam scoffed. "I'd like to see him try." Like she'd break that easily.

"He has his ways. My brother always gets what he wants." The way Dora said it made her shiver, but she wasn't going to let it get to her.

"Tell me, you tell me to suck it up and be happy, but are you? Especially under your brother's thumb?"

Dora turned her back without saying a word. The ladies quickly swept the glass shards into a wooden bin.

This was just an unusual challenge, and she was not going to sit there and obediently get married.

Once Dora left the room with her ladies, she eyed her combat boots in the corner, as well as some black ink on the dresser table.

'Just wait till he sees who he's messing with. Soon he'll be begging to send me back.'

-4-

"Wazzup. It's Sam in da House. Who's ready to Partay?!"

She was positive she nailed the entry. Crazy hair and makeup; check. Outlandish behavior; also check. Throwing the meat just because she could; double check. Causing the man of the hour to do a double take and then flip the table; priceless. There was even a tasty watermelon which wasn't glowing. She wondered if actual food grew in this place. Hopefully she wasn't doing a Persephone and getting herself trapped here, but that was a myth and this was real life, right?

Someone else had actually retrieved all the meat she had distributed while she was doing her little show and was chowing down. It was some boy in a jumpsuit with various armor pieces attached on. She took a moment to spit some seeds in his face, but then he just stuck his tongue out at her. Cheeky brat.

She was surprised that the party guests were actually cheering for her by the time she rode the chandelier. She could check that one off her bucket list. It was too bad she didn't plan her landing, because the floor hurt.

Prince Aragon loomed over her with a frightening face. "You are one monstrous demon child. Guards, to the dungeon with her."

'Says you.'

A couple of skeletons with spears filed from the door and formed a circle around her.

"But honey, don't you love me? We're getting married soon!" She tried to sound as sappy as possible.

Dora stood behind Aragon, looking frightened.

"I have no desire for you to be my bride." He reached over towards her crown and she couldn't help the smile forming on her face.

All of a sudden, he grinned. "Did you think I would let you go that easily? Guards."

They grabbed her with an iron grip and dragged her off. As she passed Dora, the ghost had the nerve to tell her, "I told you so."

Aragon followed to witness her getting locked behind iron bars in a candle-lit room. The air smelled of tallow and sweat, and the guards threw her into the cell before slamming the creaking bars behind her. There was a click and a jingle; they locked her in. She couldn't see much of her surroundings, but the floor was oily to the touch. She was positive it hadn't been washed in millennia.

Aragon stood with his hands behind his back, looking down at her. "Don't worry my bride. I'll come get you for the wedding in a few days. Hopefully a little starvation will help you behave next time?" He waved his pinky at her.

She spit at him, and then his face was suddenly right up to the bars, so close she could see the veins pop in his eyes as he flared blue fire from his nose. She shrank back in fear, desperately slapping at her head to extinguish the fire.

Aragon laughed from his belly. "There there, not to worry my dear. I'm sure we can fashion a wig for you. Get some rest, if you can."

He strode out of the room with pep in his step, and the guards tapped out the candles.

Now that it was too dark for anyone to see her, she let herself cry.

-5-

She had fallen asleep numerous times to wake up to nightmares of glowing red eyes and blue flames. Her hands stung something awful and she was in a cell with not just one but a dozen skeletons. She had no idea if they were the remains of humans or ghosts, but this wasn't fun anymore. Her stomach growled, her throat itched, and her eyes ached. She didn't consider herself spoiled, but she had never gone without food before, even in rebellion. It had been two days since he locked her in here, which meant that the wedding would be tomorrow.

She gulped, feeling a strong need for liquids. She felt nauseous from her own smell, having been forced to soil her clothes since no one would let her out. She cried again, and quickly mopped them up with her thumb to suck on.

She wasn't sure if she was even going to last until the wedding.

Oh well, she'd rather die than let him get his way with her. Or was there some way she could just go along with it, get a hot meal and somehow escape when the opportunity arose? No, he was too powerful; her singed scalp was evidence of that.

She was Sam Manson, too proud to admit defeat, too proud to be defeated. Right?

She heard a noise; the dungeon door creaked open as footsteps came down the wooden steps. A tiny light floated as if it were a will o' wisp.

"Go on, thief, get in 'er."

The key ring jingled as the guard pulled it from his belt, unlocking the rusty cell next to her. Someone was thrown in, and the cell was locked. The light went back from whence it came; she was sad to see it go.

Wait, there was still faint light.

She turned to face a pair of glowing green eyes. "Hey there," the young ghost said.

It was the glutton from the other day. "Ack, you scared me. Why did you get arrested?" She was shocked at her own voice, all hoarse and ruffed up.

"Just pilfering from their stores. They have so much food they should share, right? Yep, that gouda sure went well with the lamb, that's for sure." He rubbed his belly.

"Ah." She was too worn out to continue conversing, so she leaned against the bars that divided them. She was in too much pain to hope that she could just sleep and wake up in her bed to her hovering parents. Anywhere was better than here.

He shoved his hand through the bar, holding something. When she opened her hands, he dropped an apple in her hands. "I grow these myself, they're tasty. You're hungry right?"

Without questioning him, she quickly polished it off, even the core. Then the conspiracy theories hit her. "This wasn't some scheme was it?" Maybe he poisoned it.

He laughed, banging the side of the cell.

"Shh!" He didn't listen to her.

As she feared, she heard the dungeon door open again. Luckily, it was Dora. She walked up to her cell, revealing a face of sorrow lit by her small candle in its holder.

"Sam…you were right, about everything. Me being unhappy. I am sorry I brought you here, subjecting you to the same fate as myself." She bit the corner of her long sleeve.

With something in her belly she felt some energy return. "I'm not going to give up, Dora. I am not getting married to that control freak. If you really feel guilty, you'll help me get out of here."

Dora's eyes darted to the side. "I…I don't know about that. I'm not as strong as my brother."

"You have the same amulet right? Surely…"

Dora shook her head. "Even if I stand up to him, for me to beat him his powers must be taken from him. His amulet…and there's no way to get close to him."

Her dungeon companion spoke up. "That guy has some serious anger issues. We could use that to our advantage."

"Since when was it 'we'?" Sam said.

"Since you could use my help. And besides, I've overstayed my welcome." He grinned widely. "I'm really good at making trouble. Do you trust me?"

"I don't know you, why would I trust you? For all I know you're one of Aragon's men sent here to get me in trouble."

Dora sighed. "I let him in sometimes, my brother doesn't know about it. He leaves us apples in exchange so it's not like he's really stealing."

Sam blinked. "So you _can_ think for yourself Dora." She turned back to the boy. "Okay sure, hit me." She didn't think what she did before would work anyway.

"So, we make him lose his head, and trust me I have the perfect plan for that, and then Dora fights an irrational Aragon, and then while she distracts him I can get the amulet, then it's in the bag."

"Um no it's not, I still need to get this thing off of me or I can't leave."

"I can take care of that," Dora said, pulling out a key. She unlocked her cell and walked in, then wrestled with the crown. Finally, it came off.

Sam rubbed at her head in joy; she definitely lost some hair. If she could estimate from the feel alone, she was once again rocking her middle school do. "Would it have killed you to do that earlier? Now that my circulation's not cut off anymore, spill the plan."

"So, what would make Aragon the angriest?" Danny asked them, blinking with wide eyes.

"You mean you don't know?" Sam said. She wanted to face palm.

"If he can't get what he wants?" Dora said. "But the last time that happened, he killed our parents!"

Danny grinned boyishly, unperturbed. "And he can't get married to someone who's already married."

"But I'm not mar-wait so we should lie?" She was good at those.

"Not lie per say, merely act out a little play?"

She liked how this kid operated.

-6-

They could see everything from the hole in the altar.

The reception hall was wide and grand, and decorations for the occasions adorned the walls. A sizeable roster of guests was seated like sardines on the pews, and a burgundy carpet roll lined the walkway from door to altar. A crystal chandelier hung in the room's center, shining with a soft glint from the candles it supported. Chattering was heard due to the event's delay; everything was ready but the bride.

Aragon was waiting with an elaborate costume, pacing back and forth. The soldiers appeared at the door, looking apprehensive.

Aragon stomped over to them, gesturing wildly with his pointer finger. "What are you doing here empty handed? Where is my bride?! And don't you dare tell me she died on me."

"She wasn't there, your highness. She must have escaped!"

"Escaped?! With the crown I made especially for this moment, she could not have escaped, only I can remove…Dora." Flames appeared around his body.

"He seems angry enough," Sam whispered, but Dora had already gotten in position.

She was shaking like a leaf, and her voice followed suit. "We-we have come here today, to celebrate the most auspicious moment in a ghost's life. The union of two souls."

"Shut up, Dora," Aragon said. "Tell me what you did with my bride. And since when did I give you permission to officiate the wedding?" Luckily, he was still on the other side of the room.

Without warning, Danny grabbed Sam's hand and somehow they went through the altar box and into the main hall.

The audience gasped. Aragon turned red and managed to puff out a few profanities. "What is the meaning of this?!"

Thanks to Dora's miracle workers, she had been changed into a gorgeous gothic gown, complete with a lacy veil and cross necklace. Danny held her in his arms as they floated in the air. With Aragon's eyes on them, Sam made every effort to look in love.

"Sam," Danny said, giving her a tender look. "I promise to always take care of you and cherish you as long as we live. Will you be my bride?"

She had gotten that A+ in Drama back in middle school for a reason. She thought of the lead male singer of Humpty Dumpty and felt a blush form on her cheeks. "I do."

"With that, you may kiss the bride!" Dora chirped out, and then jumped out of the way of a blast of fire from her brother.

She lifted her veil. Danny leaned her back and kissed her so deeply she forgot to breathe. He was cold and warm at the same time.

"You…you thief!" Aragon called out, his words echoing in the hall before they were drowned out by applause.

Danny let her down on the ground, and then smirked at the prince. "She's my bride now, what're you gonna do about it?"

Aragon howled, turning into a fearsome black dragon. "Not for long. I'll have your neck, and I'll take back my bride by force!"

Danny stuck out his tongue and wiggled his hands. He broke the window and led him outside, where they fought. Danny deftly avoided the streams of flames and shot out balls of green light. Were all ghosts so…strong?

"Hold onto my neck," Dora said, breaking her out of her trance. "We're going to stop my brother once and for all. He's destroyed too much."

Sam leaned on her back and grabbed her neck, then Dora transformed into a majestic blue dragon. She was now riding a dragon. "Woah, cool."

Dora laughed, and then flew off into the night sky.

After Dora had looked around, she swooped down to the lake where Aragon had Danny pinned down under his foot. She swiped at Aragon, catching him off guard. They both went up into the air and began blowing fire at each other that swirled in blues and greens as they intersected.

Aragon yelled, "How dare you not do what I say, sister? It's that girl's fault, filling your head with modern ideas! I should never have brought her here."

"Maybe you should listen to some of those ideas, Prince." Danny had managed to get to his neck and swipe the medallion.

Dora grabbed Aragon's arm as he shrunk back to his normal ghost form. From atop Dora, Sam looked down at him, smirking when he avoided her gaze. He was so fearsome when he had the upper hand, but now he was almost pitiful. Someone that cruel did not deserve pity, however.

"You are hereby no longer prince, my brother," Dora said, bringing him up to her face. "Your powers are no more!"

With a nod from Dora, Danny threw the medallion into the air and blasted it, causing it to melt.

"Noooo!" Aragon cried. With one puff from Dora, his crown fell off of his head and sunk into the lake beneath them.

Dora sighed, looking up to the cloudy sky. "And now, I suppose, it's time to leave the Dark Ages." She blew away the clouds, leaving a sunny sky in its wake.

Sam looked down at her wristwatch; time had begun to move again. She smiled.

-7-

Once they returned, Dora proclaimed herself queen and had Aragon locked up on charges of treason for killing the previous king and queen. She also formed an official alliance with Danny Phantom, the ghost who she had "married". His name suited him.

As soon as she got the chance, she took a medieval bath and then changed back into her normal attire. She was beyond done with her adventure in ghost world and ready to go kick back at Tucker's over a nice action-packed game of Doom II.

After the coronation party, she went up to Dora, who was sitting at the head of the table in a dark cherry wood chair lined with red cloth. "So, can you take me back now?"

Dora looked down and bit her lip. That was not a good sign. "I wish I could. That ring I had was what I used to go to your world in the first place, but it was only good enough for one trip. It's already shattered, and my brother had paid a fortune for it."

"…You mean you can't get me back?"

Danny walked over with a chicken leg in his hand, so she ran up to him. "Danny, tell me you know how to get me back to the Human Realm!"

"Human realm, what's that? Never heard of it." He resumed munching on the chicken leg.

"Blarhdgehd." She found herself suddenly speaking in tongues. "Where do you think humans come from, you dimwit?" She shook him after he had the nerve to give her a blank look.

Dora spoke up again. "But why would you want to go back? You just got married."

She and Danny looked at each other. "Um, that was so not for real."

Dora blinked at them. "I suppose that's understandable, you see, this kid's only been around for a decade or so. He doesn't know how things work around here. Anything witnessed by a gathering of three ghosts or more is fact. And I definitely married you in front of at least fifty." She shrugged off Sam's look of utter dismay.

A few ghosts stopped by and gave their congratulations.

"Great wedding."

"A human bride, that's a first."

"I'm gonna tell all my pals."

Danny gave her a look of apology, but she was too mad for that. No, she was beyond furious.

She wanted to kill them all.

It was all that pageant's fault.

And she hated pageants.

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A/N: Come on, leave a review if you liked it so I can see who you are. Take care, and stop by my other stories if you run out of things to read. Tata for now!


	2. Don't Wanna Know You

A/N: After adding some more description to chapter 1, here's the next installment! I don't know why this was so hard to write.

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Chapter 2: Don't Wanna Know You

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"I'm not going!"

Sam turned her body on the bed, facing away from the ghost kid at her door as she hugged her pillow. Dora had given her use of the room she had been dressed in for the night, and it was certainly the best the castle had to offer in terms of comfort. It was too bad she couldn't sleep because of increasing panic. That cream the ladies in waiting gave her for her head at least made the ache fade.

She hated this place, but she also hated the unknown. Plus, she was not going to accept this sham of a 'marriage' lying down. Well okay, she was lying down, but still.

'What did I do wrong to deserve this?'

Well sure, she gave Paulina a bad makeup job on purpose, but Paulina did the same to her, and she had her share of pranks with Tucker on the popular kids. Did her mischief really kill her karma so much that she was now stranded in some ghost dimension?

"Okay." She rolled around at the simplistic response to see him disappear into thin air.

She sat up suddenly. "Hey… You're seriously leaving me here?" She winced; getting up sent a wave of pain through her head again.

After a moment, he reappeared, now floating in front and slightly above her. "You said you didn't want to go. I don't really care what you do anyway, but Dora said if you stay you might become a target."

"A target…for who?" For all she knew, humans didn't stand a chance against ghosts, so she surely wasn't a threat to them. She wondered how fast word spread in the Ghost Zone.

"There's one hunter I can think of who's always looking for rare pelts, or so the rumors go…" She shivered. "And I don't think you're at an advantage here in a place full of ghosts."

"Ahem. At least there are guards here." From what she could see, there were at least two posted by her room.

"Guards that aren't obligated to protect you. Plus since we're 'married' and all…" He did the quotes, and then added in a whisper, "People might talk."

"I don't care what people think. Look, is there any way you can find out where the human realm is?"

"Maybe. I mean, I don't go out much, except here, and this place is pretty much a bubble. Well, it was until now, I'm sure Dora can do some diplomatic stuff since she's Queen and all. Not that I know her too well, she just trades with me, and she's kinda a stiff. At my place, lots of ghosts come by from all over the Zone, trying to challenge me and steal my house. I fight 'em off. I can see what they know, if you come with. And, since it's kinda my fault we're 'married' now, I swear to protect you."

She rolled her eyes. That kid couldn't stay on topic even if he tried, and that line was pure cheese. Even though she witnessed what he could do during his fight with Aragon, he didn't seem too high on the totem pole of powerful ghosts. And why was he willing to help a complete stranger anyway? The sad part was that she needed the help.

After collecting her thoughts, she said, "Like that means anything. Fine, maybe I'll come; this place is so old school anyway. As long as I can ignore you when I get there."

His eyes opened wide, and then he gave a boyish smile. "Oh I have lots of space, should be plenty for you. There's a field, and it's fun to lay there and look at the sky when there's nothing better to do. And there's an apple orchard – like I said, I grow 'em – and I don't have any animals, but I can get some if you want. I've always wanted a puppy." He gestured wildly as he rambled. He looked too excited for someone who didn't care.

Hopefully he didn't have any ulterior motives; she felt like an idiot but she didn't really know anyone in this place and had to start somewhere. Dora was her kidnapper for goodness sakes, and even though she had changed her tune now she wasn't necessarily trustworthy. At the very least, maybe she should keep an eye on him and see if it was possible to get a divorce, or better yet, an annulment. Hopefully all ghosts weren't behind with the times.

He kept going. "Oh it'll be great; there'll finally be someone around. Hey, do you wanna be friends? I've never had a friend before."

"Uh, no I don't want to be friends with you, and I don't want to get to know you. I can barely tolerate your existence as is."

He put his hands on his hips, and then floated up to her. "Hey, I was trying to help you, you know. I already said I was sorry-"

"Sorry buster, sorry doesn't cut it." She took a deep breath, trying to avoid projecting her frustration. "But at least I don't have to marry that old dragon, thanks to you. For that, I'll stick with you. For now."

She _really_ hoped she wasn't making a mistake.

-2-

After Danny left, she changed out of her nightgown into normal clothes and put on a healthy slather of cream. Once finished, she headed down to the dining hall to eat breakfast with the nobles at Dora's table. A red satin cloth lined the table, and there were plates of eggs and bacon, salad greens, sliced grapefruits, and tomato slices for whatever reason. On the side was fresh sliced French bread and a few plates of churned butter. The fresh stuff sure had a fragrant smell compared to the normal variety from the supermarket. Figuring she was already stuck with no way of returning, she reluctantly helped herself to some of the salad, using the tongs to distribute some to her plate.

Danny, who was seated beside her, decided to combine everything minus the grapefruit to make at least five sandwiches. He ended up shoving them into his mouth as fast as possible; if she didn't witness how much chicken he ate yesterday, she would have assumed this was his first meal in days. When he reached for another set of ingredients, she elbowed him in the gut. He didn't even notice that people were staring. At least he got a clue after that and settled for the grapefruit. She was such a nice person.

The topic of discussion was of a political sort: how to calm the pro-Aragon faction, the process of integrating modern scientific discoveries from around the 'Ghost Zone' into education for the nobles and peasantry, and the search for a husband to secure the kingdom's future by means of an heir.

'What if Aragon was pressured into seeking a bride by these same people?' Except he wanted to have someone exotic if he had to get married at all, and her being brought here was the unfortunate result. She hoped that Dora could find someone who actually wanted to be with her. 'Wait a second…heir, ghost children? Is that even possible?'

Dora insisted on giving her a 'wedding' present for the trouble she caused, which included five sets of clothes that Sam drew the design for to match her favorite wardrobe, a bonus black cloak because she had always wanted one, a black knapsack to hold her things…and knitting supplies. Sure, she did learn how to knit from her grandma, and it was surprisingly chilly in the Ghost Zone, so maybe it would come in handy, but really?

Instead of complaining, she quietly accepted the intention.

Dora presented Danny with a bag of assorted snacks, and – to her horror – a set of wedding rings. 'He had better not go near me with those, or I'll find a way to end him in his sleep…if ghosts even sleep.'

Dora wiped away a tear. "To think I arranged such a great couple!" Really, in what way? Well at least a ghost and a goth looked good on paper. Dora gave Sam a chilly embrace, and then put her hands on Danny's shoulders. "Do let me know when the children arrive."

Danny's stupidity knew no bounds. "Children? What children? Where are they coming from?" The worst part was that he was clearly confused and not at all joking.

Dora put her hand on her forehead and Sam refrained, instead mouthing gibberish under her breath.

'Just great, the whole world of ghosts to get married to and I end up with an idiot.' The sad part was that it was better to let him stay that way.

-3-

Danny was finalizing some sort of official trade agreement with Dora, so she waited for him in the forest clearing. He wanted her to stay put in the castle where it was 'safe' but she was already sick of the place, and it was relaxing to hear the rustling leaves and wildlife sounds in the forest. The sky was lined in trees, although she could make out little green clouds dotting the pitch black sky. How far did this forest extend?

The Ghost Zone had creatures that looked like what could be seen on Earth, but there was something eerie about some of them. The deer had five legs, the crows had an extra eye in the back of their heads, and it seemed like the flora had a life of its own. There was even howling in the distance.

She turned around to find herself face to face with a wolf glaring with neon green eyes from the bushes. She backed away slowly, and it followed, revealing it to be not a wolf but humanoid in form, possibly a werewolf, clad in torn green clothing. She yelped as her back collided with a tree.

"Lasu min trankvila!" It roared, raising one claw.

She winced, shielding herself with an arm. A moment later nothing happened, so she peaked out to see the creature blinking at her.

"Amiko?"

She blinked back. "Sorry, I don't understand. Can't you speak English?" He tilted his head. "Guess that's a no."

The wolf sniffed her hair, then gave her a curious expression. Finally, he smiled and then clawed at the air. The space ripped, revealing swirls of purple on the other side. He dived in and the opening closed behind him.

She could feel her heart rate slowly returning to normal. 'What was that?'

Before she had much time to ponder, a white ghost glided down the forest pathway. He donned attire suited for a 50s noir mystery detective, including the black fedora, a tailored white suit, and white leather boots. All he was missing was the pipe. He grimaced, mouthing a few curses.

"Shifty little devil, but not to worry, he can't run for long." He landed on the ground.

"Um," she said without thinking. "What's going on here?"

"I'm following the trail of a very dangerous criminal. Speaking of which…you're the human I've heard so much about."

She gulped, before nodding. He walked up to her with a slow, purposeful gait.

She decided to at least attempt to get more information, if only to delay the inevitable. "You've heard of me? And who are you?"

"The name is Walker, Warden of the Ghost Prison, protector of order in the Ghost Zone." He had a casual, yet intimidating way of speaking, and his gaze was somehow cold. "Of course I've heard of you, I have sources everywhere, even in this backwards place."

Since he was in law enforcement, she decided to take another chance, at least indirectly. "Since you're so knowledgeable on order and ghost law, hopefully the marriage didn't break any _laws_ or anything. That would be terrible!"

He pulled out a large dusty leather book from thin air, and perused it after licking his fingers. "No, nothing against in the rulebook. I'd police it like any other ghostly union, I suppose."

"I see…so how are ghost marriages handled exactly? Since I'm new here and all. Does stuff like, I dunno, _divorce_ , happen here at all?"

He leaned so closely that the brim of his hat hit her nose. "Has the ghost boy been treating you well?"

"Yes…why…?" She gave an awkward smile. At the very least, he hadn't done anything yet.

He flipped to another page in the book. "Let's see here… Divorce is mandated based on treatment of the spouse, and if the accused is convicted of abuse, the crime is punishable by torture and 5000 years in prison. For general dislike, or the common 'falling out of love' sentiment, separation is advised but divorce is not admitted. For polygamy cases, the one involved with all parties will have a mandated divorce and will be sentenced to 1000 years. These harsh penalties are why most ghosts date at least 100 years before marriage, as it is risky and they need to decide whether they can commit. But rules are rules, and they ensure order."

"Ah I see. Just curious, wanted to know my rights." She wasn't about to lie and hurt someone who actually helped her, even if it was the only way out.

Danny had the greatest timing; he flew over to meet her and then stopped short. He surveyed the scene and then went over to Walker.

"Ah, hello again, Phantom," said Walker as a grin spread on his face.

Danny glared at him. "Hello."

Walker waved his index finger. "It's been some time since you staged that rebellion in my prison and set Wulf free. Don't think I'm not watching you."

"As long as you don't make up rules again we should be dandy," Danny said, crossing his arms.

Walker scowled. "You're just too green to understand my noble intention. In the pursuit of justice, one must be willing to bend the rules in order to obtain a certain result. I do admit in your case, I had gone a little too far…" Danny nodded, causing Walker to scoff. "But any trouble from you and don't think I don't know where to find you. Now excuse me, I have a prisoner to catch."

With that, Walker vanished to who knows where.

"So," Sam started to break the silence. "You got arrested by him before?"

"On phony charges. He accused me of trespassing in an open area, I mean really? I was just trying to find the watch my dad gave me, which some stupid tech ghost stole from me."

"And who's Wulf…wait…" The mysterious wolf man appeared in her mind's eye. "Does he happen to wear green?"

"How do you-" Danny stopped short and then leaned in close by her ear. In a low voice he said, "Don't say anything, Walker has spies everywhere. He's a nice guy, though I don't really know his language. I don't know why Walker has it out for him. Anyway, let's just go okay?"

"Right." She grabbed her bag that she had sat next to the tree full of ghostly songbirds and slipped it on her shoulders with little effort. It was a good sized bag, and held her load nicely; she was amazed at how well those ladies-in-waiting could follow a pattern that wasn't even from their era.

He stretched out a gloved hand to her, and she took it, not knowing what to expect. Then they both started levitating in the air as she felt his energy extend to her. It was a weird and tingly sensation, but it was so exhilarating that she found herself breathless. Her hair floated, tickling her ear.

"So how does it feel to be weightless?" Danny asked her. "I don't know how you humans get around walking all day, especially when you have to go long distances."

"We have cars for that sort of thing, silly." She couldn't help but giggle. "You know what a car is, don't you?"

"I'm not that clueless," he retorted with a frown. Then it hit her that he wasn't wearing the armor pieces, just the jumpsuit. Maybe he only wore that to fit in with the castle. "Let's go!"

-4-

What she had seen from that little window in the castle, and even outside in the forest, did not prepare her for this. There were so many doors of all colors, big and small, floating in space. Green clouds that sputtered and sparked flowed everywhere. Everything was so new to her; she couldn't help the questions that flowed from her lips.

Danny was kind enough to explain. "These doors are dimensions. Some lead to ghost lairs and rooms; I know, I opened some of them. Ghost rooms are for those ghosts who don't want a full lair by the way. Other doors lead to weird and mysterious places. Clockwork said it's dangerous to open them willy-nilly; I only found out after the fact. You might not be able to return after entering them."

"But one might lead to the human world?"

He shrugged. "Might be. Maybe we can ask Clockwork when he's free and in this time period. He travels a lot."

She gleaned that Clockwork was some sort of time ghost. As they passed by a particularly large green cloud, her hair stood on end like static attraction.

"Is this green stuff in the air ectoplasm?"

"Yes, although there are different types. This stuff morphs and multiplies, and yet rain and thunder comes from it. Be careful not to stick your hand through it; it can shock you. Some ectoplasm in the ground can be processed to get metals and water, while others just exist in the environment. A different sort flows within us ghosts as well. Clockwork told me it's actually clear, but when it flows out through a cut or something it attracts the sticky ectoplasm from the air, resulting in the thick green stuff you see. Its presence helps wounds heal."

'So it works like platelets.' Who said this kid didn't know much? Oh wait, she did.

"Since you ghosts need to heal, are ghosts dead or alive?"

"Since we exist we'd have to be alive. Dead ghosts turn into ectoplasm and their souls go off. I've seen a ghost die before." Silence returned between them.

She could see her breath in front of her. The air – it had to be air since she could breathe – was biting cold and she could feel her cheeks flush. She was acutely aware of the heat radiating from Danny's hand. It struck her as strange, since Dora was the temperature she was used to ghosts being. Even when she was captured by the Lunch lady at the beginning of the school year and Jazz had to save her, the meat was in no danger of spoiling, to say the least. Was he just different?

They passed floating isles featuring a variety of terrains, each with a different themed house from country cottage to horror bat cave.

"These are also ghost lairs, just not in another dimension," Danny said without her asking. "This place, from what Clockwork's told me, is made of many, many dimensions, with impossible depth. It confuses me sometimes, since I stay close to home these days. I used to wander off before…it wasn't safe anymore."

She looked at his furrowed brow, how his eyes sunk as he looked down below them. "So you would say this place isn't very safe for ghosts either?"

"Everyone has a bone to pick, and there's an annoying hierarchy. It's all about who's the most powerful, how many ghosts are under you. I've never been bothered with all that, I just wanted to be left alone. Clockwork was nice enough to take me in, and gave me a place to live, but I can't see him often. Stupid time business. The problem is, I don't really like not having anyone around. The only ones that come around want to pick a fight! But it's nothing you should worry about, forget I said anything." All of a sudden, he brightened up. "Look, we're here!"

In front of them floated a black and white door; the paint was old and crackled. Danny turned the silver doorknob to open it, revealing a floating landmass surrounded by star-shaped ectoplasm.

They flew over at least an acre of apple trees and a spring field that emitted the most amazing smell, even from high above. Some of the apples were in bloom, while others featured red and golden fruit hanging from their branches. The field housed a small well, old fashioned and circular, and a small plot with various crops. Past the plot were woods with lush Juneberry and Hickory trees. In the midst of them was a small clearing where a three story old-fashioned brick home stood. They landed in front of it.

Danny smiled proudly. "So yep, my house, what do you think?" He walked up the wooden steps and opened the door without a key, violating modern safety conventions. Though, locking doors probably didn't matter so much if a ghost that wanted to break in could simply walk through.

She really wanted to refuse his hospitality and camp outside instead of trusting a stranger, but who could refuse a warm place to sleep? As it was, she was regretting not putting on the jacket the ladies made her before the trip; her teeth were chattering without end. She hoped she wouldn't catch cold.

She listened to her gut over her mind. "Great place you've got here, where do I sleep?" She casually stepped past him into the house.

This place was hard to describe; it was a juxtaposition of the 19th and the 21st centuries. She was now in the living room, where a worn sofa along the styles that IKEA would offer was side by side with an antique wooden rocking chair and a fireplace, with wood logs piled in front. She jumped; a worn mahogany grandfather clock chimed 2 o' clock. Across from the sofa was a staticky television. She reached for the remote that lied on the ornate oak coffee table but it slipped through her fingers. Or more accurately, her fingers passed through it. 'A ghost item?'

Danny followed along behind her and grabbed the remote, switching the TV off. "You can take a look around, if you want."

She was able to grab a dainty floral ceramic teacup that lay beside it, which meant it was real. 'Real items and ghost items. Interesting.'

Jazz had told her, after her prodding, about her parent's extensive research on haunted houses, which was their first big project in their college days. They had discovered the existence of items which were like ghosts themselves, there but untouchable. Meanwhile, ghosts could pass through real objects at will, but could somehow manipulate them as well. It was another mystery she could think more on later.

The walls were lined with a variety of old photographs. She wondered if they were his relatives. Briskly walking down the hall, she passed the kitchen, where she eyed a model of refrigerator that she hadn't seen since she was a kid. She paused and then entered the kitchen space. The sink had a drain but no faucet. There was a hose attached to a bucket, commonly used in camp sites. A small collection of clean dishes dried on a metal rack. A furnace stove was located in the back near a window; she'd only seen one in a photo book on off-grid living. A small dining table was encircled by three wooden chairs, although two were covered in a thick layer of dust.

She turned her head and spotted a yearly calendar on the wall: 1899. Boxes for each month with the days were on the bottom half, while a woman dressed in frilly blue lace and a fancy hat beamed on the top. She picked it up off the nail on the wall, only to find that it was the only year there.

"Um, Danny?" She said as she felt his presence behind her, before slipping the calendar back in place. "This is a really old calendar. Can't you get an update?"

"Sure it's old, but it's correct here at least. You know how Clockwork's the ghost of time? In here, it's always 1899. Nothing wrong with it though, it's always a party."

She rolled her eyes. "Just great, another time trip. At least it's not the 14th century." She only realized she said it aloud when Danny offered an apology. "Sorry, I'm being ungrateful."

There was a wooden staircase that led to the upper floors.

"Up there is my room," Danny said, pointing. "I would offer you one of the others but they're empty."

She opened the door across from the staircase to reveal a modern bathroom, complete with toilet and sink. Instead of a faucet was a steel bucket with a handle. A small ceramic bathtub with fancy knobs was at the very end of the room; its surface was pristine and had a soft shine. Near the towel rack was a wall mirror. She stepped in front of it without much thought, and immediately wished she hadn't: she was appalled at the sight.

How could anyone act normal looking at her? Half her scalp was singed and raw, and the flame shaped burns extended to her right ear and cheek, almost up to her nose. Some of the skin on the right side near her eye was black and numb. The cream had made the pain go away for the most part, but after seeing the damage, it was understandable why her head still ached. She felt disfigured.

Hot tears fell down her cheek as her chest heaved involuntarily.

"Sam? What's wrong?" The nosy ghost kid asked from behind her.

"What's wrong? Can't you see? It's my face that's all wrong. How can you even look at me? I…I can't even look at me."

She was wearing that dragon's mark. The hard reality was creeping upon her, the reality that she would never escape this place.

If only she had never entered that pageant.

The one who looked back in the mirror wasn't Samantha Manson, but a pitiful victim subjected to her fate. She couldn't stand it. Tarnished. Disgusting.

She punched the glass as hard as she could, causing slivers to fly everywhere. She didn't care that her fist was bleeding, only that she would never see what she had become…someone who had to depend on mercy.

She tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept coming. Finally she turned around, only to see Danny staring at her injured hand. She allowed him to approach and examine it, before wrapping her hand in beige linen cloth.

"It doesn't look like there's any glass." She felt him press her hand to stop the bleeding.

She was so embarrassed; forgoing hygiene, she wiped at the snot running from her nose and then sniffed it up the best she could.

She was stuck in this strange place, far away from anyone or anything she knew. Everything was unfamiliar, even herself. The old her wouldn't have shown vulnerability to a complete stranger.

However, she knew it was short of a nightmare, because she wasn't scared, just broken. The worst had come to pass, and even her hand would heal, but the scars would remain.

She never thought she would feel this way, but all she wanted right now was to go home where her parents were waiting with open arms. No more ghost business with Jazz. She could hang out with Tucker and talk about normal worries.

Why couldn't she wake up?


	3. I Refuse to Get Used to This

A/N: Sorry for the delay; here's the next update!

Chapter 3: I Refuse to Get Used to This

"Hey Sam, catch!"

Sam flinched; she had been zoning out again. Barely looking up, she trudged over to the spot the voice was coming from and raised the basket. Once she was in position, pink-tinged apples tumbled down from above then neatly plopped into the container.

"Don't get sleepy yet!" Danny Phantom continued in a chipper tone, flying above her. "We're only halfway done."

She groaned.

Above her, the ghost boy was surely trying to gain her attention with a bright smile. Sure, that might have improved her mood the first few days, but countless months had passed since she had first set foot in this place. And by now, her tolerance for happy had worn thin.

She merely grumbled, "Yeah, yeah," as an answer. It must have satisfied him, for he didn't say anything else.

She wasn't supposed to be here this long—was it six months? She had drawn out a simple calendar on paper because the one in the house was so outdated. Plus, if she used up her phone battery on it she wouldn't be able to call home when she returned. She was lucky it lasted her dungeon imprisonment, but at 20% it was wiser to keep it off. Before that, she made sure to check the signal even though she knew there would be none, just in case. It was worth a shot, but she was out of luck. At any rate, based on the time from her wristwatch, she could keep track of passing time and not get lost in the emptiness of the Ghost Zone.

As long as she remembered the first few days correctly, it was now January. The pageant was on March 13th, not long before spring break. She had not only missed that, but summer vacation and the rest of her school year. She couldn't believe she longed for school this much, not that she was a bad student. Or that she would give anything to be nagged by her mom again…well, just a little. Would she kill to see Tucker again and watch him scarf down that stupid burger with meat.

Speaking of eating…

She looked down at the basket, which was about half full. She couldn't believe that the stupid basket weaving workshop her mother forcibly put her in as a child had come in handy, and she ended up making at least five this month. After getting frustrated at Danny's lack of anything to hold his harvests except old buckets and bags, she took it upon herself to use pine to make some, impressing herself and him in the process. Not that she cared about him in the least, but at the time she was treating this stay in the Ghost Zone as some kind of adventure, a vacation where she could be independent. But now, she was beyond sick of apples, the lack of sky, and ghosts.

She hoped it was just mundanity getting to her, because it wasn't hot but she was feeling dizzy. She put her hand to her head as she was hit with a wave of anxiety.

Was she…going to die here?

-1-

At first, everything fascinated her, including the young ghost residing within its walls. She peppered him with many questions that first month: Did he eat or sleep? Was food merely an energy source or a novelty? Why were there real world items? Was the Ghost Zone another dimension, something like the flip side of Earth? The things Jazz and her parents told her did not prepare her for this; there was so much more, so much she wanted to know.

Of the nature of the Ghost Zone, Danny couldn't answer. He seemed a little lost, or blissfully unaware of philosophical things. Now, the other questions he could answer. She was right on the money about the food. He did eat and sleep, but said that ghosts typically went up to a week without rest, and then had to rejuvenate their energy. He insisted that he had to get daily rest because he enjoyed sleep. Well, that was one thing they had in common.

Apparently, real world items sometimes found their way into the Ghost Zone, and typically ended up clustered in "Real Junk Yards"—as the local specters called it.

"So, you wouldn't mind taking me to one of these "junkyards", would you?" she had asked him coyly, and like a real boy he flushed.

"Um, sure! Of course, I wouldn't mind, but hopefully I'll find a way to send you back home. I promised you, after all."

Based on his innocent gaze, she felt she could trust him to find a way back for her. After all, since someone brought her here, somehow there should be a way back. The one way she thought of for sure was the Fenton's portal; but where it was from here, she had no way of knowing. She did tell Danny about it though, so he could ask around. Apparently, he usually kept to himself so he had no friends to ask. He did say something about ghosts bothering him unexpectedly.

Since then, she had explored every foot of the property, from the well to the gardens, and every floor of the house. The crop variety wasn't huge; beans, cabbage, and squash were arrayed in haphazard plots, and much of the land was unmanaged. She enthusiastically laid claim to the area—at least while she was there—to clear useless weeds and brush, collect and organize seeds, and straighten out the plots. Her elementary school Girl Scout training had inspired her love of nature, as well as educated her on edible weeds—which she thanked her father for. Her mother had been opposed, saying there was too much danger in the wilderness, which is why she was removed from the program before middle school. It was too bad her dad didn't have much of a spine, because he was always the more lax of the two. Oh well; once a scout always a scout.

The apple orchard was better taken care of; in fact, that's where the young ghost spent most of his time. Only yellow and pink varieties grew there, which she was told were preexisting on the property before Clockwork entrusted it to Danny. So she left them to him, and in a few weeks the plot was populated with young sprouts. She labeled the plants she found, and even found herbs like hyssop and plantain for medicinal purposes. Though she was running low of the medicinal cream the dragon queen gave her, it had done its job; her head was perfectly healed, and short hairs were coming in.

Ironically, this sense of independence she had now was something she had craved for since she was young. But right now, it didn't sit comfortably.

She shook her head. It was pointless worrying about something she had no control about. Danny would surely find her a way back home, but for now she would enjoy her newfound freedom.

-2-

The next day, Danny flew her to the junkyard. It took about thirty minutes, according to her stopwatch, although it felt much faster. She wondered if time moved differently here—which would make sense in consideration of Einstein's theory of relativity.

When she lifted up her eyes, she was amazed. It was like a junk island. Junk floated outside of it, almost like clouds, slowly descending towards the center of the land mass. Ah, adventure.

"So…" Danny trailed off, and then cleared his throat. "Whadda ya think?"

She could hardly express her excitement, so simply said, "Let's get closer." She was sure her eyes gave her giddiness away.

They landed in front of a dusty glowing sign with black stickered letters: "Junk Yard North #3." Beyond the battered fence lay piles of assorted items. A path was made haphazardly, likely from fellow junkyard devotees, so she found herself stepping gingerly over tires, metal poles, and even an old Nasty Burger Sign. Wait…she definitely remembered that sign. It was the one they used to have when she was in middle school, and then they changed the design. Was the reason because the sign transported to the Ghost Zone somehow? Well, that did match the owner's cheap reputation.

"Why are you so curious about this place anyway?" Danny asked, floating behind her with a bored expression. No wonder; he had probably been here a million times so it was old school fare to him now.

"I've always had a fascination with death, so to speak, since I was depressed growing up. Around middle school, I met this girl a few years older whose parents were paranormal scientists! Since then, I've been hooked. Recently, me, her, and my best friend Tucker have been hunting them and sending them back through the portal."

"The portal we're looking for, to send you back, right?"

"That's the one! Of course, before then, I'm gonna find out all I can. Anything that can get Jazz's mind whirling would be a job well done in my book."

"Sounds like you have good friends." His voice was quieter for some reason.

"Yep! I can't wait to get home."

Eyeing a pile of trinkets, she walked over to them, and began digging through. There were a variety of things, from plastic rings and rusted chains to antique jeweled earrings. There probably wasn't any use for human money in the ghost world, but maybe someone would like a trade. Not to mention some of this stuff really hit her fancy—cross necklaces, black rose studs… She opened her sack and deposited all but the cheap stuff, since they didn't weigh much, and then moved on.

Danny was looking at some of the furniture. She really hoped he wasn't going to try to lug some of that back. She tapped him on the back, startling him.

"H-hey, what was that for!" he said, huffing a bit. "And don't you dare say I shouldn't get scared because I'm a ghost. This place always has me on edge."

"What, think a ghost's gonna jump out at you?" She laughed at him from behind her hand.

"Exactly! I'm really not in the mood for a fight." With that, he looked around nervously.

"So a scaredy-cat, huh? When you're that strong, sheesh. Well, I guess you're still a kid after all." She gave him a large pat on the back, causing him to jolt then scowl.

After a mutual glare, he flew off. Finally, some peace and quiet. She could fend off well without him…even if she didn't have her wrist-ray. Too bad Tucker didn't throw it to her before she got abducted, or better yet, Jazz should have given it to her in the first place. Oh well, maybe she could make due without it, since there was enough junk to hide in. After all, all the Fentons' ecto-weapons had a limitation – they needed to be charged in the "Ecto Station", which hooked up to the Fenton Portal.

The portal, huh. In her opinion, it was more of a curse than a blessing, even to the Fentons. Sure, it allowed them to study ghosts at their leisure, but at the cost of being a pain to the civilians of Amity Park. But it was more like a dark portal to hell, because according to Jazz, it took a life to connect the portal to the Ghost Zone.

Jazz had told her its birth story when they were in middle school, about a few months after ghosts started showing up in town. At the time, Sam was dabbling in Wicca and had built up a small collection of books on mythical items, spells and legends. At first, she thought that the origin story was cool and begged Jazz to see it. For some reason, seeing the portal close up was sobering. There was an awful noise, like screaming. And to top it off, some ghost that looked like the death reaper tried to drag them both inside, before Jazz's parents saved them. That night, she burned all her magic books – she was grounded for two weeks for that outburst of pyromania – though she kept all the items and legends books. It wasn't like she was turned off ghosts, but something told her there were some things not worth messing with. If anything, it was just the excuse she needed to cast it off for good, and gave her more space to build her collection of plant and vegan books.

The legend books came in handy for identifying ghosts though—including the wishing ghost, Desiree, from _Middle Eastern Ghost Tales, vol. 2_ , and Sidney Poindexter, from _Casper High Legends_. And most notably, she was instrumental in helping the Guys in White stop Freakshow from taking over the world with his Nightmare Gauntlet. Of course, that adventure was another story in itself…

She snapped out of her recollections when she tripped. After dusting off her knees, she found out it was a cord coming from a ginormous pile of televisions and computer monitors. They were stacked in a puzzle-like manner; sets of various sizes bulged out from the sides, but the structure seemed sturdy.

"What the…" she thought aloud, walking closer to behold the oddity. Maybe some ghost obsessed with televisions had manipulated it somehow.

Nah, maybe she was just overthinking things…

Once she peaked behind the structure, she dropped that thought. All the devices' cords were interwoven and connected to one singular glowing cord – evidence of it being a ghost item, or at least that it was touched by a ghost in the last 24 hours. Sam was forced to listen to Jazz' mom go on and on about how objects could store ectoplasmic energy for a certain period of time, which allowed the ghosts to manipulate it.

Her eyes followed it down to a breaker that led underground. _Wonder where that leads…probably to a ghost_. She had no time for that, so she scurried to a pile of knickknacks in front of the TV tower. She rummaged through until she found a small black tube of lipstick. She was about to toss it too, until she noticed the telltale emblem of 'Fenton' etched onto the side.

 _Is this what I think it is?!_

Surely enough, on the back side was a button panel. The top was rusted a bit but came off with a little tug. This, no doubt, was a Fenton Lipstick, or a preliminary version.

 _Finally, a weapon. If it works_.

She started walking back to the main path before stepping on something that made a click. Almost as if triggered, one of the sets flickered on, and Sam turned at the sound.

"Uh, hello? Can you hear me?" said a loud voice on the screen. The image was fuzzy, but she could tell it was of a male.

She stood frozen, unsure if she should respond or not. After a brief glance down, she wanted to hit herself: it was a surge protector that led to the TV sets. _Why can't I learn to be more careful when dealing with ghosts?_

Her mind was racing with escape plans, or if she could somehow signal Danny or not. If only she had a whistle right about now.

She turned around, determined to retrace her steps before it was too late, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Startled, she whirled back around, to face a clear image of a blue skinned man in a Hawaiian shirt and ragged tie, with long, sleeked back, hair. He looked to be in his mid-forties. A ghostly hand – which must have been what touched her – retracted back into the TV.

"Aha! I knew I wasn't seeing things," he said, straightening his tie. "I have completed the connection! And what do we have here? A human!"

She decided to go for the cocky and confident route. After all, it seemed to work well on teenaged scumbags, and dumb ghosts, in her experience.

"Yeah, so? And who are you?"

"This is great, just as I have planned! You shall take me to the human realm, where I shall proceed to take over the _world_!" He waved his hands enthusiastically as he talked.

 _Boy, did this guy have illusions of grandeur or what? If anything, his voice and demeanor give him away as a weakling. Just like that other ghost, what was his name...?_ At the same time, the last time she underestimated a ghost it took two weeks of cleaning up the school from wish-ghosts.

"Why should I?" She bit back.

"Because, if you don't I shall use my knowledge of _technology_ to control your mind, and then you shall do it for me."

"If you truly have that kind of technology, why haven't you done it already?" It was a 50:50 gamble of that being a bluff. Either way, no one was getting into her mind.

"Well…I…I'm still working on that. Hey…" His eyes got bigger for a moment, then he yelled out. "I remember you! You and that goggles kid and that headband girl took away my opportunity to take over the internet, and the world!"

Ah. " _Technus_? That irritating little – I mean that really intelligent ghost we struggled so hard to defeat?"

"Of course. Since I am dictator material." He pulled out his collar in a bragging sort of way.

"Why the outfit change?"

The first time they met, Tucker had decided to help Jazz clean up the mess her father made in the lab – without asking – and raise money for an outfit to go to Dash's party, by selling the lab gadgets in a yard sale. It was a huge mistake, as Technus had infected every one of them and the gang had to clean up the mess. The second time, Tucker helped Technus gain power in a game, and somehow gave him the bright idea to win it to gain access to the Internet. If he had succeeded, controlling social media would have effectively satisfied his ghostly goal and ruined life for humans everywhere. It was a good thing Jazz got the bright idea of taunting Technus into sucking her into the game with her ghost weapons, allowing her to capture him in the Thermos.

It could have turned into a huge pain in the neck when Jazz's dad stepped on the Thermos, releasing Technus. He fled into one of those old VCR TVs, but Jazz quickly unplugged the device and tossed it into the ghost zone.

 _Oh_ , _so that's what happened_.

"What do you expect? I was enjoying the sun in Hawaii while watching a sappy romance. I had no technology for months. No gadgets. It was _torture_. You people put me into jail, and I am very angry."

"Sure you are."

"But, once I escaped, I found this place…and this!" He presented a worn android phone and turned it on to reveal a picture of Paulina. It was clearly pulled from her Instagram.

"That's Tucker's-" She blurted out before stopping. How did that get here? Then again, Tucker did lose one when they decided to explore the ghost zone using Mr. Fenton's ghost-mobile (or whatever it was called).

She thought she would try appealing to him. "You know what though, I'll apologize to you. But look at all this tech now, right? Surely, you can make something great with it. Great enough to defeat the resident ghost here and have him take you to the human world."

"Hmm. That is true…"

"Hmm…maybe not? Maybe you'd prefer to sit back here and enjoy TV?"

Green energy emitted from Technus' hands, dismantling the TVs. The components floated around and slowly connected, assembling to form an armor about him. "Where do I find this ghost? And he knows where the nearest portal is to the human realm?"

"Of course!" She waved her hands at him. "And all you have to do is call out his name. It's 'Danny Phantom'".

Technus took the bait like a mouse in front of peanut butter. "Danny Phantom! I am challenging you. Your human friend here has given away your secret. Face me, so I can take over the human world!"

What good was a whistle when she had a loudspeaker right in front of her?

Danny flew in quicker than she had expected. "Leave Sam alone!" Maybe he was nearby?

Technus tilted his head. "You're misunderstanding something. I am not bothering the human child. She has betrayed you. Now just settle down and prepare to be discombobulated at your defeat at the hands of the great _master of technology_!"

Danny stared for a while before scratching his head. "Technology master? I'd love to meet him! All I see is some washed up old dude on vacation on a junkyard island. Well I guess to _you_ this might be paradise, with all these outdated parts and all…And what is this thing on top? Something to increase your signal?"

"It's a record player. It adds charm. Don't you know they're back in vogue? And don't you insult me. You don't know who you're messing with." Technus's hands filled with a green energy as he narrowed his eyes.

"Try me." Danny beckoned him with a hand, the last straw.

With the twitch of a finger, the TVs flew to cover Technus' body. After arriving, sparks flew across his body, and the parts disassembled and connected to form an interactive suit. It reminded her of Iron Man's in form only, but black instead of red. This led to the conclusion that he was watching more than just the romance channel while he was here.

"The Tech is back! Now 2.0." Technus cried and rushed towards Danny.

Sam barely held back a giggle with her hands, not wanting to attract attention. Danny, however, was clearly distracted by the silliness, as he went flying across the junkyard.

 _Idiot._

The fight ensued. Technus' latest suit model seemed to amplify his powers, as well as increase his defense. Danny had a hard time repelling his attacks from laser guns Technus had "breathed life" into, and couldn't land any blows. Instead, he was constantly pushed back.

Too bad Tucker wasn't here, or he would surely find a way to hack that hunk of tech. But maybe she didn't need to after all, since it was an android phone. It was pretty easy to crash a phone if it had the right virus. She recalled Tucker going on a rather not-innocent website last year, "accidentally" while trying to "find a site to recommend some outfits for prom" since they were going together, and frying his phone. Ah, she remembered that fondly. She even took a few shots of Tucker's mortified face when he lost his baby, though he was able to do a system reset at the cost of $50 at the shop. And now that she thought of it, she recalled the name of the site. If only she could keep that robo-suit still…

"Danny!" She called out after approaching closer to Danny, but hiding behind a huge rock. She wanted to still avoid Technus' field of vision, after all. "Can you find a way to disable him? I have an idea!"

"If I could I would," Danny said, before dodging another laser blast. He blasted between the joints of the gun to blow it up, then wiped the perspiration off his face. Then he looked around before widening his eyes. "Hmm, I'll try something."

Danny flew towards an area with broken furniture and towering trees.

 _Wait a sec. Was he planning to…?_

Technus blasted madly as Danny dived into the forested area, the bushes and brush blocking the view. "Just because there is no technology in this area does not mean my creations cannot follow me. I shall bring this place from the dark ages!"

"And what was wrong with the dark ages? Other than people being smelly, of course." Danny stuck his head out slightly from behind a redwood tree at least 20 foot high.

"I see you!" Technus sung while blasting the tree.

She wanted to kill both of them right now.

The trunk spit and fell down quickly, before Technus could even shout, crushing his large suit.

"Really Danny?" She huffed, marching her way over to Technus. "You had to destroy an ancient tree?"

"Hey, these things have more life force than you realize. See, there's still a branch attached. It'll come back for sure!"

"UGH!"

Technus struggled under the tree. Luckily, his arms and legs were pinned underneath the thick trunk. "You tricked me, little girl. How dare you- hey. What are you doing?"

She whistled. _This is gonna be fun_. After inputting Tucker's password, 'Paulina1heart4u*', she opened the internet browser and navigated to the website. Luckily this place somehow had wifi…maybe she should thank Technus for that? After a brief loading time, girls in bikinis with suggestive poses filled the screen, and then came the popup hell.

"Wait!" Technus cried, as his suit lost color. "What did you do to my system?! Why is my screen filled with beach girls?! No! I hate the beach! I can't get rid of these popups!"

"But you're the tech master?" She prodded. "I'm sure you can do _something_."

Momentarily, his suit lost power and started smoking. He must have clicked a popup.

"You rang?" Danny said with a smirk, flying over to Technus.

"W-wait. We can talk things out, can't we?" He must have realized he was between a tree and a hard place.

"Hmm, maybe after this."

Danny beat him up.

-3-

Technus nursed a black eye while roasting a marshmallow.

"Wow, this hits the spot! The crispy and warm outside, and that delectable center!"

"I know right?" Danny said before stuffing his mouth with another. "Sammm, you don't know what you're missing!"

After Technus promised not to fight anymore, with him being severely beaten up and all, they surprisingly made a truce. Then, they set up a campfire to roast a bag of marshmallows Danny found underneath one of the broken chairs before flying over at her request. Apparently he originally intended to share them with her. There was no way she would trust a bag of marshmallows that expired in 2004, even if they did look gooey.

Instead of responding, she poured herself another cup of herbal tea, which was a hit with the others as well. _What gives. You two were just fighting a second ago. I don't see how Technus Ignoramus would help me anyway. I've helped give him a butt kicking, and ghosts bear grudges._

"So let me get this straight," Technus said, ignoring her glares. "You, human child, get brought into the ghost realm and get yourself hitched-"

Sam cut in, "I don't like how you're making that sound, like I'm having fun or so-"

"You got _hitched_. You're wearing the ring without a problem, aren't you?"

She looked down at the ring on her finger, wanting to take it off just to prove a point. However, it was a gift from Dora and she'd feel bad just throwing it away… Was she just making excuses? Maybe she didn't hate it that much. Danny wasn't that much of a pain, and he didn't try anything either. The only thing about marriage she didn't like was that she was stuck here, in the ghost zone. She was not one to have her freedom taken away from her.

Technus continued. "But to answer your question, sure I could help you get back to your world, but you would also have to help me get through the portal. I could use you as a hostage and get past those pesky guns." He laughed maniacally for a moment until Sam's stares brought him back to sanity. "Although the portal is the easiest way, it is also unpredictable. You never know when it's going to open, and when it does you have to check for the coast to be clear, and then I can raise havoc on the city with technology!" He started laughing again until Danny patted him on the back.

"So, are you going to help or what?" Danny said in a chiding manner. "Without causing a problem?"

"Hmm." Technus looked to the side. "I don't want to."

"But this marshmallow is calling your name?" He pulled out another from the bag and put it on a stick, then waved it around.

"Hey!" Technus slowly reached out, and Danny passed it to him with a knowing smile. "…Alright, I'll tell you more of what I know. Either way, the portal is far from here, and although a map exists, I myself will have a hard time getting back to familiar waters. It is actually easier to find a random portal."

"Random portals?" Sam said.

"Why sure. Think of it this way. Whoever created the portal in that human lab caused a disturbance in the flow between your world and ours. These disturbances happen naturally. How else do you think we haunted your cities for millennia? Even I, Technus, can use technology to detect nearby disturbances."

"Are you actually a genius?"

Technus rubbed his nose with pride.

Danny rubbed his chin. "Say, Technus. How about instead of helping us personally, I can tell you where the nearest ghost residence is and you can ask for directions there. I'm familiar with this area after all."

Technus lit up.

"All you have to do is give us that tech you were talking about. As a bonus, if you put your logo on it, it's free advertising. Who knows, you can set up some kind of business selling your tech to other ghosts?"

"A business? That's a great idea! I could take over the ghost zone, then the world!"

"Yeah, you do that," Sam muttered under her breath before rolling her eyes.

"I'll get started right away!" With that, he flew off into the junkyard.

Danny put his hand into the marshmallow bag, but she was fed up. She snatched the whole thing and dumped it into the fire.

"Hey, Sam! What'cha do that for? I'm helping you here…" He whined as the plastic and sugar melted into nonexistence.

"I don't have to explain. I'm your wife."

She smirked as he suffered. Wait, why was she enjoying this again?


End file.
